Non-Sequitur

Just came back from Target. I’m still LMFAO because the look on the clerk’s face was PRICELESS!!

Perhaps I should elaborate. My best friend Terri and her husband are having a party tomorrow. It’s a theme based party based around the show “The Trailer Park Boys” so essentially they’re making food like frozen fish sticks, Kraft Mac N’ Cheese, tater tots, etc. Terri is decking her condo out with kitschy-ass items and everyone is encouraged to show up in costumes.

So I in my ultimate wisdom have decided to come in my best answer-the-door-for-my-welfare-check best. This is a list of my costume items:

• One holy-crap that is bright nightgown. It is quite literally fluorescent yellow , orange and pink.
• One sort of matching orange bathrobe.
• One set of pink shorts (so I can sit without showing off my femmeparts – tho to be fair it would have been more authentic had I left the shorts out of the outfit)
• Pair of knee high stockings – to dar k for my skin color and rolled over at the top
• A pair of slippers – blue or white haven’t decided yet
• Rollers in varying sizes and colors – inc. purple, hot pink, turquoise and lime green
• Garish makeup inc. eyeshadow in royal blue/turquoise combination, lipstick “London Red” and 12x with collagen mascara for that Tammy Faye look

Mind you I bought about 80% of these items at once – and the guy ringing up my order had about the most bewildered look on him. Almost like he was praying I wasn’t really gonna wear them all together. So desired effect obtained, and I haven’t even actually worn it!!

Can’t wait! Costumeyness aside – I haven’t seen some of my friends in what feels like a bloody century!!!! (it actually has been over a year maybe two for some of them). Hopefully I will return with many fun and incriminating photos, LOL!

So as per usual I was labelling my CD collection. This is a pastime which I pursue with near obsessive/compulsive rabidity. I got to Devo’s “Q: Are We Not Men? A: We are Devo!” album and noticed something odd. The visage on the cover looking somehow familiar! It looked suspiciously (though not exactly) like Patriots quarterback Tom Brady! If he wasn’t like One year old at the time the album was released I swear I would think the artist was using Brady’s too-small Panama hat photo as a point of reference. Weirder still the album cover is actually supposed to be a painting of golfer Juan “Chi Chi” Rodriguez, who of course looks absolutely nothing like Tom Brady in any photo/painting but this one. Very odd!

Of course this comparison would have fared better could I have found a more face-on shot; but I think you’ll get the gist:

So iTunes 8 just came out.. and along with it a few new toys (I still haven’t figured out what the heck “Bonjour” does from the last release). Including a couple of new views (Cover Flow which has been on the iPod software for a bit and Grid, which displays all your album covers as a library). It also has this new thing called Genius; which basically cross-references what you’re playing (selected) with iTunes database and recommends songs that you’re missing from the same artist as well as similar artists. As someone who kind of can’t resist a musical gadget of any sort.. I’ve been messing around with it a bit.

To be honest, while I do really like the missing tracks portion of the software, I’m a bit meh regarding the similar artist selection. Possibly it would be more helpful if like Amazon.com and Pandora Radio if they gave you a “don’t like it” option to help fine tune things to your personal taste.

Here’s a little sample of my test run, I did basically an easy, medium and hard variety:

Easy – I consider an easy band anyone (IMHO) who sounds like pretty much a million other bands. You’d be hard pressed not to guess who the similar artists are without the help of computer software. For this test I used Nickelback, who (again IMHO) sounds like quite a number of other people inc. Chris Daughtry, 3 Doors Down, Creed, etc.
Genius recommends: Green Day, 3 Doors Down, Lifehouse, Hoobastank, Trapt, Papa Roach, Three Days Grace, Evanescence, Matchbox 20, and the Goo Goo Dolls.
Honestly I was surprised no Daughtry recommendation, since I think he sounds just like Chad Kroger… but whatever. Regardless the other bands are EXACTLY the type of recommendations I would have expected. Easy Test PASSED.

Medium test – You might not know exactly who their influences are or who they sound like, but you can probably get there. I used Kula Shaker, because they’re a band I am very familiar with. I haven’t read enough interviews to know (in a research sense of the word) who their influences really are.. but I want to say I can guess from the sound of their music. I almost always pick up distinctly Beatles, Bob Dylan, Pink Floyd and Grateful Dead influences. They are also a modern British Alternative band with psychedelic influences, so it wouldn’t be unlikely to see band such as The Stone Roses, Supergrass, and the Verve recommended. Let’s See shall we?
Genius recommends: Manic Street Preachers, (The London) Suede (sorry I will always just call them Suede), Supergrass, The Verve, The Cooper Temple Clause, The Stone Roses, The Vines, Humble Pie, The Von Bondies, and Black Grape.
It surprises me a little that Humble Pie is the ONLY classic rock entry in the recommendations. However I always suspected Apple/iTunes of promoting a hip image by pushing the latest college bands (you have seen their commercials I assume?) anyways so maybe it’s not SO shocking. The other bands again completely as I suspected. Medium Test PASSED.

Hard Test – well this implies first of all you find a band that more or less doesn’t sound like anyone else. I used my selection for most underrated act of the 1990’s.. Deee-Lite. I dunno everyone always gets stuck on “Groove is in the Heart’ and no one ever talks about their other stuff.. an excellent mix of funk and dance, and occasionally even other bits of randomness thrown in (Party Happenin‘ People has a kind of Charleston sample thing going on). I guess if I HAD to pick a band that is similar-esque: possibly Pizzicato Five, Gnarls Barkley and The James Gang (the one that was on America’s Got Talent this past season). I suspect I might get a lot of un-similar dance artists simply based on their electronica genre status. So yeah.. could be interesting:
Genius Recommends – Red Flag, Pizzicato Five, Pet Shop Boys, Eurythmics, Madonna, Depeche Mode, New Young Pony Club, Soft Cell, Holly Golightly, Nelly Furtado, Komeda, C + C Music Factory, Neneh Cherry, Snap!, Vanessa Williams, !!!, Esthero
Holy Crap! What an EPIC FAIL!!!!!! With the exception of Pizzicato Five and Esthero none of these bands seem similar to me. Same time period, same massive club play maybe but that’s where the similarities end. Not that all these bands are bad mind you, and yeah it’s entirely possible to jump from here to there.. but not in such a direct manner.

Final thoughts: yeah well I guess it maybe offers help to people who actually don’t want to maybe do the research to find out who their bands are influenced by and are similar to. Personally I think that’s just being one hell of a lazy audiophile.. but then again music is kind of an obsession for me, so I could be biased.

So there you go, my review (can it even be considered as such in the manner in which I wrote it?) of the new Apple Genius software for iTunes.

ETA: Just after I finished writing this I for some reason clicked on :wumpscut:, and noticed (at least for this band) it offered what is known as an “iTunes Essentials” playlist for the genre Industrial. I have to admit I give the people over at iTunes props for these lists, which I always find to be composed by a person who actually has a clue. As if any genre really can be complied into such a thing as a list (you’ll always inevitably be missing something that somebody likes) I find that it tends to stick to the absolutely must-have tracks without being so eclectic that just anyone can’t kind of ease into it. For shits and giggles here’s their list, asterisks provided for tracks which I totally 100% agree with them on:
1) Headhunter, Vol. 1.0 by Front 242
2) A Drug Against War by KMFDM *
3) Jesus Built my Hotrod by Ministry * (though I prefer Stigmata, probably because it was my first Ministry song)
4) Mindphaser by Front Line Assembly
5) Assimilate by Skinny Puppy
6) Kooler Than Jesus by My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult *
7) The Wheel by Coil (I probably would have put an asterisk if they had picked almost anything else by Coil. I love Coil. I highly recommend Theme from Blue, any of the lost Hellraiser tracks, or anything from the album Gold is the Metal)
Yu-Gung (Adrian Sherwood Mix) by Einsturzende Neubaten * (my first and still one of my favorite EN songs… though they also have many other great songs. Definitely a staple)
9) Hamburger Lady by Throbbing Gristle (I like songs like this, IMHO more experimental than Industrial, but I don’ count it as a staple since you can’t fucking dance to it!)
10) Join in the Chant by Nitzer Ebb *
11) Supernaut (12″ Version) by 1000 Homo DJs * (um.. duh?!)
12) Closer (Precusor) by Nine Inch Nails * (maybe? I’m having a tough time deciding. For a music collection, yeah you should probably own Broken/Fixed by NIN (as well as Pretty Hate Machine) but as a club track this one is a tad played-out)
13) S**k by Pigface (they only picked this because of the vocals from Trent Reznor. I say skip this one and get yourself a copy of Sick Asp F**k instead…)
14) Corporate Slave by Snog *
15) The Cage Complex by Haujobb * (great song, though I have to admit I stereotypically prefer the :wumpscut: remix of “World Window”)
16) I Got the Fear by Meat Beat Manifesto (actually I like Meat Beat Manifesto more as an electronica act than as an Industrial act, “Satyricon” is a terrific album, but really wouldn’t fit in on this list)
17) Soylent Green by :wumpscut: * (I really cannot convey the importance of having any and/or all of the :wumpscut” tracks in your Industrial library)
18) Beers, Steers and Queers * (it’s funny, and it’s a classic)
19) Fit for Flogging by Leather Strip * (decent song, Leather Strip in general is a band I’ve always had mixed feelings about. You tend to have to put up with seven songs of mediocrity to hear the few gems on each of the releases… but it’s usually worth it. I also recommend: Khomeini, Go Fuck Your Ass Off, Body Machine Body and Die, Die, Die)
20) Geiburt Einer Nation by Laibach * (I think it might be the only *original* Laibach song worth having really)
21) Suicide Jag by Chemlab * (they’re better live, but some songs translate well into club fodder)
22) Crackdown by Cabaret Voltaire
23) Butterfly Potion by Foetus * (an oldie and a goodie, though moderately difficult to dance to, in that can’t decide if you should dance industrial [angry] or sexy [strippery] and trust me to do both at the same time usually culminates in an EPIC FAIL)
24) I Sit on Acid by Lords of Acid * (yet another band who you’d be well to consider investing in most/all of their stuff to you industrial library.. in conjunction with Praga Khan (who I perhaps like even more.. though he’s a slight bit more on the techno side of things). If nothing else you MUST OWN: “Lust”, “Voodoo-U”, “Expand Your Head” and the singles “Pussy” and “Spank My Booty” from “Our Little Secret”).
25) Mothersonne by Download

Some tracks I though could/should have been on there that weren’t:
Das Modell by Rammstein
Scorched Blood by Exorcist
Masochist (any version though I prefer 4) by Die Form
Military Fashion Show by And One
Tragic Hero by Funker Vogt
Who’s Your Daddy by Benny Benassi
Any number of songs by Apotygma Berzerk, particularly Kathy’s Song (Beborn Beton Remix)
The entire album “Untied States of Mind” by Covenant

Does anyone besides me get pissed off that they make Ally Sheedy’s character all pretty at the end of “The Breakfast Club”? What a sellout! I liked her better pseudo-goth new-wave freak pixie-stix sugar high girl.. *grumble*

I was reading the ingredients to my Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.. and noticed they contained “Natural Flavors”
It occurred to me: “How natural can the flavors be, if they can’t exactly specify what flavor it’s attempting to be in the first place?”
I’m thinking they were going for Paprika or Jalapeño or something since there are no spicy ingredients listed, but why not write spicy flavorings, or paprika flavorings.. or whatever (natural just ooks me out.. too generic).

1) What’s the deal with the Ford Explorer? Didn’t it used to be an SUV? Now it’s one of those funk-ass looking Hybrid jeep/truck things.. (like a baby version of Chevy Avalanche). And instead their small SUV is called Escape.. What’s up with that? Did all those nasty tire recalls make them change the style of the vehicle so it would be unrecognizable?

2) What the fuck happened to Kenny on South Park? I’ve been watching again for the first time in like two years. Apparently he’s been replaced by some annoying little moppet named Tweak. So what did he die and stay that way for once or what?

3) How fricken old is Nikki who just got kicked off American Idol, and is that little boy they keep showing hers? If so I kinda shouldn’t have kept rooting against her huh? I was just pissed she kept scraping by week after week, yet my favorite to win (Tamiyra) gets the boot after one bad performance.. GRUMBLE

4) Why do I keep having stupid asinine questions about TV shows all of a sudden? Can you make it stop? Does it mean you have to kill me?

1) Ever since the movie she no longer gets “cramps” when vampires are around. I noticed this first in season 2, Spike is in the Bronze looking right at her and she doesn’t notice him at all, and even after yelling there was someone outside getting “bitten” she doesn’t realize he’s a vamp also until he threatens her. In the movie she always knew vamps were around because she would get Period-like cramps all the time.

2) If she still has the “birthmark” she never mentions it, nor can you see it (and you should be able to in some of those outfits she wears). In the movie, the birthmark was part of her birthright as the “chosen one”. Although she did mention she’d been thinking of having it removed. Perhaps a) because it was ugly and b) because if it was a good way for vamps to know your the “slayer”, you’d probably want to get rid of it too.

Other things I need to catch up on, if anyone watches the show, in the ad for the new season, I swear she is kissing Spike. What’s up with that?